Socrates

Liked to think a lot
Was in "Bill'n Ted's" adventure
He wore a toga

This is the next in our series of historical haikus where we seek to explain a famous historical personage in 17 syllables. Stay tuned for more.

Winston Churchill

Many cocky quotes
A cocky hat and a grin
Krauts daren' defeat him

Blind Date II- Onus

A guy with guitar
Oh has the world gone insane?
Please don't sing again!

At this point I am...
In a trough in a valley
Falling from ditches

Blind Date

This is so awkward
So terribly, terribly awkawrd
And yet I watch on

They meet and go out
By dinner the talking stops
Then things fall apart

Then the wheels come off
And Roger Lodge cracks a joke
Final comments please

Ku

Was a geek in school
Now she is too cool for school
But she's still in school

Lincoln

Married Mary Todd
Then burned the South to the ground
Got shot at a play

Rain

I would not mind rain
If it wasn't so wet and cold
And made smelly mold

Diego Maradonna

Smoke a cigarette
Five goals in Itallia '90
Snort some coke and score

But could life be more?
Oh my Argentine hero,
Is coke in your soul?

Testing Time (submitted by Graham)

H-I-V  please  no
I'll never have sex again
Please no, heinous balls

This is the first haiku submitted by Graham, a promising young poet out of NY. He will be joining the staff full time soon.

Rosie O'Donell On the Bus

Rosie in a flick
Andie McDowell co-stars
Mon-go-loid Rosie

Is this her acting?
The clothes and obesity?
Or is she this way ?

Oh for the life of;
Beer, nachos, and a bad perm
Most men daren't dream

Pasty white hair'd skin
Why all the pictures Andie?
This movie kills me

A pregnant Mong'loid
Yet in rapt horror I watch
I know how it ends

Weekend At Bernies II

Zombies and voodoo
Bernie dances t'ward the loot
80's were a hoot

Roids

Grrrrr, now I'm stronger
Baseball fun, me make millions
I'm a smart monkey